He was prudent to my reckless self,
Giving me hope for myself,
I am not wrecked, but I am yet to be.
The distance between us was more than it seemed,
It was three months since we last heard from each other.
It took every ounce of my persistence to hold back my emotions;
I had decided to be saved for him.
Numbed my Pain,
Sensation,
Vehemence,
Spirit and
Soul.
With every minute passing without him I desiccated,
There was a burning flame in my heart,
It was surrounded by asbestos.
90 days later I did come across him,
He stood on the porch.
No butterfly did I feel in me.
There he was, with her slopping on him;
It was like she knew his anatomy.
Every ounce of my blood boiled,
But slowly the numbness flew away.
My heartbeat slowed, heavy and thick
With quick intervals, I breathe
As I remembered the touch of his hands,
So cold but beautiful,
Soft,
Tender.
It goes unnoticed that I have started to feel again,
With freedom and passion,
Finally making peace with me.
I realize,
I need not be saved for him,
As I am saved by Him.
Author's note:Everyone wants to fall in love knowing the consequences of heartbreak. It includes your chest trying to explode out while you try to keep a smile on your face."Twilight Sleep" was sedation given to women during labour. It had side effects of drowsiness, feelings of heaviness or sluggishness. This writing connects that feeling with heartbreak.
The girl in this diary entry reminisces about the time when she was cheated by “the love of her life”. She describes the situation by the line “There he was, with her slopping on him;” indicating the boy had chosen someone else over her, even though they were supposed to wait for each other. She was so in love with him that she shut her feelings down for anyone who tried to approach her. She says she tried to be “saved for him.” As the story develops, she realizes that she should have never turned her feelings off. She thanks Lord for saving her from the toxic trait that she was following. She realizes that these struggles were worth it because, in the end, she found her true self.
P.S: This writing is based on a real-life experience of someone very close to me.
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