It keeps me awake at night and fills my days with uncertainty and fear. The words slip out of my mouth like icy flames and leave me trembling. I can’t seem to stop the lies, one after another they seem to follow each other off of the tip of my tongue. The first lie was necessary for me to keep my place in the elites. They asked me about my past but it was far too dark and foreign for them to accept me, so I crafted a perfect narrative of a happy life similar to theirs, but still slightly different. I may be hiding my true identity but I would never completely conform to their vile ways. It took me a while to get used to my new self, a clean slate with no enemies, dangers, or fears. But this was simply a mask that I got used to wearing. After this first lie I continued to fabricate nearly every word I uttered. My naive self had no idea it would get this far but I did not have time to contemplate. The elites hung onto my every word and searched for any hint of deception. They are like hungry wolves seeking prey within me. The elites are known as the most intelligent and able of all, yet a low life like me has been able to deceive them for all these years. Even if I get caught today or tomorrow I will be proud of all I’ve accomplished through lying. Despite this success the lies burn within me as I reach closer to the end of the wire. The young soul within me that was trained to be honest and pure has now been corrupted. Surely there can be an exception for my sins, I needed to lie to survive. But these are questions that can never be answered until we reach the end. In my next stage the elites will no longer hunt me. I will be far from this dimension, far from this entire world. But these lies determine my fate, these lies determine my next destination. Hopefully the decider can understand the plight of a frightened young soul bruised by the dark world around her.
Author's note:
A young girl with a tragic history lies to those around her to hide her past. She continues this cycle of lies because they are necessary for her to gain the validation of those higher up in society. She deeply regrets lying and is still innocent on the inside, but she cannot risk telling the truth because those around her will be angry. This dark and emotional narration is the narrator’s way of expressing her pain. She is uncertain of what the future holds for her and is frightened by the consequences she may face. She hopes that she may be forgiven.
コメント