Dear Henry, I finally found my words. You were right just as Neruda’s love came from herflaws and imperfections so did mine. You believed in me even when you knew that I couldn’t give you back the effort you wanted. You could not repair me but you drove me towards gaining more momentum for me to move on. You cannot imagine how eternally grateful I am to you. I used to slip into my dark abyss and forget the existence of anything or anyone in the world because that was my escape. A world without the one you love is just a void. Maybe this is why we shouldn’t give ourselves completely up to someone, but I loved him. I loved him straightforwardly without any pride because I knew no other way. Maybe he would still be here with me if I had listened to him that day, and this thought made me want to sacrifice everything for him. I felt I owed this to him, that it should have been me too. Had it been me instead of Dom, I wouldn’t want him to feel completely shattered. Being in therapy for these past years made me realise Dom would want me to live with will. You distracted me from the excruciating pain I found in each moment of my life since the crash. I was so greedy for the love that you dispensed on me that I did not consider the consequences. It took me a while to gather myself up and perform a physical kintsugi as I completed writing Dom’s eulogy. It was time to let him go with peace and love. I decided to start writing again which is why I wanted to start with you. I saved you the burning page and fixed it for you. Henry Page, you really are an extraordinary collection of atoms. I hope you could see yourself through my eyes.
Here’s a little Neruda dominance for you: I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
With Love,
Grace Town.
This work is based on the film Chemical Hearts (2020). Grace town decides to take a gap year to continue therapy after her dramatic encounter with Henry Page. This is a letter she writes after getting her normalcy back to a boy who made her want to move on.
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